Ready, Steady, Cook, Disaster!
by Shiawase-usagichan
Summary: The girls of fairy tail are suddenly thrown in the death ring, and participating in a… cooking match? Easy right?Unfortunately not. There's going to be interference from various parties and things are bound go wrong. Well its just the usual chaos anyway.


**Ready, Steady, Cook, Disaster**

**The girls of fairy tail are suddenly thrown in the death ring, and participating in a… cooking match? Easy right? No… unfortunately not. There's going to be interference from various parties and all sorts of things are going to go wrong. Can the girls of fairy tail show everyone what they're made off, in the fields of cooking?**

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><p>It was a nice sunny morning in Magnolia, and the guild of Fairy Tail seemed to be gleaming brighter than usual. Lucy Heartfilia walked up to the guild that morning and burst through its large wooden door, expected someone to get thrown across the room and a room full of smiles and laughter.<p>

"GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!"

But the guild was surprisingly empty. Scarily empty. Lucy did a double take on both her sides, and she swore a tumble weed drifted across the room. The blonde coughed loudly and then back stepped back out the doors. She placed a finger on her chin in thought, and then decided she would try entering the guild again. For the second time that day she slammed the large guild doors open. Still the guild resonated with silence. The lights suddenly turned off, and the large wooden doors behind her slammed shut. Lucy couldn't suppress the shudder trembling up her body. Her hands reached for her keys on the side of her skirt. Suddenly something wrapped itself around her ankle and she let out a loud shriek. The scream bounced off the large empty guild.

Her ears picked up the slight snickering sound, and she clenched her hands in annoyance. Lucy sent her free heeled foot slamming down on Natsu's hand around her ankle and he yelped in pain.

"Alright everyone! Stop trying to scare me!" She shouted annoyed, her brown eyes slowly adjusting to the dark. Natsu had let go of her leg, and she could hear him push himself off the ground, wooden floorboards creaking as he did.

"Sorry Lucy, but it's not a practical joke" She tried to turn around, following the sound of his voice. "Dammit! I lost the hostage rope!"

In an instant two muscular arms wound upper legs and she let out a scream. Natsu flung her over his shoulders and proceeded to make his way out the guild's back door. He clicked his fingers and produced a miniature flame, slightly illuminating his face. Lucy swung her arms in protest hammering his back and thanked that he couldn't see her, because her face was heated and red.

They arrived at a room and she was put down rather roughly. Lucy winced and shot her kidnapper a glare. He gave her a cheesy smile, shot out of the room and slammed the door.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?" She yelled.

She blanched as the room resembled a jail, and she shuddered. The ceiling was low, the yellow paint was peeling off the walls, and the granite tiles were cracked and caked with moss. The window was basically a square cut out with rusting bars through it. No, Natsu would never put a nakama in jail… right? She wasn't so sure as of late.

"Hey. Lucy."

Lucy's heart nearly jumped out of her throat, and relief flooded her being as she spied Erza sitting down on a wooden chair, looking rather cross… no… furious. Lucy felt herself unconsciously backing away.

"They got you too Erza?" Lucy asked rather surprised.

"Yeah, Freed's runes got me!" She clenched her hands in anger, and Lucy winced in fear. "The rest of us are over there."

Erza pointed to the heap of unconscious bodies and Lucy's face distorted into horror. "What happened to them?"

Erza shrugged. "We can ask them when they wake up"

"Are we all here?" Lucy asked, peering at the pile of bodies. Lucy grimaced, she sounded like she was talking about a pile of dead bodies.

"Well Mirajane isn't caught yet, and neither is Juvia- assuming that they're only after us girls…"

The door creaked open again at that exact moment and Juvia walked in, with a dazed expression on her face. Lucy sweat dropped as she immediately recognized Gray's retreating figure. He slammed the door and Juvia smiled happily.

"Those guys are just cruel!" Lucy frowned. "Juvia you just walked into their trap!"

"What! Gray-sama would never do that to Juvia!" She vehemently denied.

"What exactly did he say to you?" Erza asked

"He said for me to wait here, and he'll be back for me"

Erza and Lucy exchanged a glance. "Err, sorry Juvia, I don't think he is, why do you think we're here too?"

Juvia watched them with a solemn look, and then crouched on the floor and began to cry. The little room they were in began to flood. "Juvia already knew that! B-b-but Juvia just wanted Gray t-t-to WAHHHH!"

"Calm down Juvia! When we get out, we can all get revenge and beat the living *&^*%^& out of those cowards" Erza's eyes gleamed with malice, and Lucy couldn't blame them for being cowards. Her tears died down and she brought a half broken seat and sat down with the girls that were still conscious. Their circle of three were silent for a while.

A few minutes passed, and the door creaked open again. Mirajane walked in with her usual smile, and they spied Freed trying to close the door. Erza leaped up and tried to force the door open. Immediately the other males of Fairy Tail came rushing in and then finally overpowered Erza, slamming the door shut. A dark aura surrounded the Titania and she sent her companions a glare.

"Why didn't you guys help me!" She hissed. Lucy let out an 'Eep' and hid behind Juvia who was staring into space.

"W-well Juvia's kinda out of it, and I'm not very strong…" Lucy laughed nervously. Something suddenly came to her attention. "Why didn't you use your ex-equip?"

"It seems like this room can prevent us from using our magic" She crossed her arms. "Otherwise I would've administered their punishments by now…"

Erza turned to Mirajane. "So how'd you end up here?"

Mirajane smiled. "Well… Master told me to come in here, so here I am!"

"Is that all it took?"

By then the unconscious girls began awaking. Levy, Bisca, Cana, Evergreen and Lisanna awoke from their slumber. Evergreen was the first to react, and slammed her hands against the wall.

"When I get my hands on that manly obsessed !#$%^!#!$$#%#!"

Levy managed a smile despite their situation. "Well you have to admit, that Evergreen has a very… colourful vocabulary…"

"What's going on?" Bisca looked around confused at the cramped room.

"Who knows?"

Erza was still fuming with anger. "We can ask them before they receive their punishment!"

"By the way, what happened to you girls?" Lucy asked curiously.

Levy looked up in thought. "Well I was with Cana, Lisanna and Bisca in the guild this morning, and somehow we suddenly woke up in here."

Lucy stole a brave glance at Evergreen. "Well you could guess who brought her in here…"

Lucy laughed a bit, and then sighed, eyeing the doors in both sides of the room, and then glancing at the barred window.

"This room has two doors," The solid script mage walked towards the splintered wooden door. "Erza have you tried breaking them?"

The red haired mage sent her a spine chilling 'who-do-you-think-i-am' look.

Levy turned away quickly, coughing nervously "How about the barred window? The bars don't look that strong" Cana began to tug on them.

Lucy nodded hopefully. Erza glared at the window hoping that her glare would command it to explode.

"The bars are made of some special metal that sucks your energy if you come into contact with them…"

Levy frowned. "And there seems to be something else that suppresses our magic…"

Evergreen huffed rudely. "Seems those idiots, have slightly advanced from their primitive stage."

"We'll just have to wait for them to let us out then" Lisanna chirped up, trying to calm Evergreen down.

Lucy looked at her companions. Two of them have murderous intentions, one of them having a mental breakdown and the rest are being completely normal about it! Lucy began panicking; these people weren't the best people to stay with, if one wanted to keep their sanity. The blonde haired stellar spirit mage inwardly prayed for someone to save her!

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><p>Her head snapped up at the slight sound of the doors creaking open. The blonde leaped up, tears of relief streaming down her eyes and skipped towards it. A hand shot out, gripped her shoulder and stopped her. Lucy averted her brown eyes up and looked at Erza with a questioning gaze,<p>

"It might be a trap…"

The door was wide open, and Erza took the initiative to step out first, followed by Juvia and Mirajane. The six other girls followed cautiously.

Erza's eyes widened, and a horde of streamers and confetti came pouring down from the sky. In front of them were three kitchen stations and a large stage set up and they found themselves in a large arena, the ones that looked like it was used for national sporting competitions. Lucy twitched. She's been here for a year, and she's never seen this stadium before, what kind of guild was this?

A hole opened up in the stage and Makarov came twirling up, dressed up in a suit and matching top hat. "WELCOME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TO FAIRY TAIL'S FIRST, EVER FAIRY TAIL COOKING CONTEST!"

The girls of Fairy Tail couldn't believe what they were hearing- eyes wide, and mouths opened in shock. "WHAT?"

"MASTER! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Erza finally calmed down, but she was still seething her dark aura rearing its ugly tentacles towards anyone in the vicinity.

Makarov ignored her question, and a large screen came down. "Everyone will recognize most our contestants from our Miss Fairy Tail we held at Fantasia last year!"

"First up, we have Lisanna!" The crowd began cheering, and Lisanna watched her audience confused and turned to the other Fairy Tail girls in question. Still unsure, the young mage gave a polite bow and a smiled. The crowd cheered. A close up version of her was captured and shown on the screen.

"We have Erza Scarlet!" Erza glared at Makarov.

"Ex-equip-"

Bisca's eyes widened "We can use our magic now?"

"HER ARMOUR'S COMING OFF!"

"-Heaven's Wheel Armor" In a flash her Heaven's Wheel Armor materialized on her body, and the crowd went wild. Erza was about to charge at the Fairy Tail males sitting outside the arena when Levy stopped her.

"Erza, there are runes around the arena..." She whispered urgently.

Erza growled, and then calmed herself down. "can't you do something about them?"

Levy furrowed her eyebrows together. "I've never seen these Runes before… It would take a while before I can do anything though…"

Erza became silent and stared on at the festivities.

"There's Lucy Heartfilia!" Lucy knew she couldn't beat Erza's extravagant Ex-equip with her stellar magic, so she went for something simple and decided to summon plue.

"Summon-!"

Lucy grinned, but quickly her grin disappeared when the key in her hand caught her eye. She screamed all too late, and Aquarius materialized with a swirling wave of water.

"Why'd you summon me this time, Miss-I-don't have a boyfriend?"

"It was an accident!" Lucy whimpered

Aquarius turned around and her cool eyes shot holes through her. "What-bitch? You summoned me for no reason?"

Lucy could only flap her mouth like a fish- no words expressing her fear. Aquarius lifted up her vase and summoned a large tide of water. Lucy let out a shriek and the tidal wave swept her across the stadium.

"WHY DOES THIS ALWAYYSSS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

There were a few minutes of silence, before Makarov yelled into the microphone again. "And next we haveeee Juvia Loxar!"

A spotlight shone on the water mage, who was currently crouched up in a ball, face buried in her arms. The crickets of silence chirped once again. Makarov began sweating, and then his eyes soon gleamed with mischief.

"Gray Fullbuster loves you Juvia~" He sang into the microphone.

"Why the hell did you do that for old man!" The ice mage yelled out slightly embarrassed, choking on his saliva.

The water maged had perked up and she quickly leaped up. Her eyes were full of stars and she created an arc of water, that rained down on her making her shine with new found radiance.

"I knew you wouldn't leave me Gray-saaaaaaaaaaammmmmaaaaaa~!"

Makarov smiled with triumph and continued with his announcement. "and we have Levy Mcgarden!"

Levy waved nervously, and brought out her quilted pen. She wrote the words 'apron' in mid air, and she ran into the words. An apron materialized on the solid script mage with a cloud of smoke, and then she gave her audience a cheerful smile. The crowd cheered loudly, and Makarov nodded proudly.

"Next we have, Evergreen!"

The spotlight was shone on Evergreen and she pushed her glasses up. She directed a stone glare at Elfman, and gave her audience a spine chilling smile. They froze, as if they really had been turned into stone.

"Err… alright then… and there's also Bisca Mulan!"

The introductions when on for a while. Bisca had shown off her shooting skills, Cana putting a simple card show, and then Mirajane taking the liberty to transform into Gajeel again, only this time putting his head with Makarov's body. The Fairy Tail girls began to laugh despite their current situation.

"Alright! Now that we've introduced our contestants for today's show, I will now explain the rules!"

The Fairy Tail girls looked up at Makarov expectantly.

"The 9 girls will now be divided into groups of equal three- through a random draw, the theme will be announced and they will have to cook something relating to the theme. They can only cook with the ingredients on that table over there"

Spotlights shone on a white clothe covering a table.

"The prize is that the winning team members can each have one wish granted by yours truly, if it is within my power to give!"

The Fairy Tail girls gave each other a glance, eyes sparkling at the prize. Now they were more eager to win the cooking contest, thoughts of escaping disappearing.

"There will also be four rounds to the cook off, and our own judges are our very own Fairy Tail males! This contest will test strength, endurance, teamwork and your skills in terms of cutlery!"

Lucy stared suddenly giddily, Erza and Juvia solemn, Evergreen contemplating and the rest of the Fairy Tail girls chatting away between each other.

"Alright, now and this round's theme is…!"

Suddenly it became quiet, tension thick, everyone waiting for the theme of the first round of Fairy Tail's first cooking contest…

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><p><strong>Oh wow! I found this story I had written yonksss agoo stashed somewhere in my folder! xD And here it is, submitted to fanfiction :D It's a really whacky and fun idea! Lots of action and hilarity ensured! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and tell me what you think. Hahahha, still can't believe I found this again!<br>But you guys can actually help me decide the teams for the cooking contest the theme; eg cake, dessert you name it xD It'd be great help! Well until next timeeee~  
>Marina!<strong>


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